SWINES, PIGS AND HAM

Speaking of swine flu...

Well, no one in the Gonzales household has been inflicted with this disease - yet Arnold has declared a "State of Emergency" for California with only 11 confirmed cases. Go figure.

My kids asked me yesterday how pigs got the flu and wanted to know how a person could get something that came from an animal. Interesting conversation. Apparently this same discussion occurred at school with a couple of the teachers.

Evan shared with his class that we have pigs and they aren't sick.

His teacher stated: "Well your pigs probably haven't gone for a walk through the park."

What does that mean?

Of course my mind drifted to thoughts of "Hogzilla" our 275 lb pig, who took "a walk through the park" last Saturday to Pig Heaven. She will feed the Gonzales family for about 6 months.

In celebration of her graduation from mortal life we had a ham (not hers) on Sunday.

"Summer" the younger pig will take a walk through the Ventura County Fair in August and will be auctioned as a Market Pig. Pig auctions at the fair bring in a lot of money. So we are excited about re-couping some of the money spent on feeding these beasts.

We have had poultry/live stock for at least 5 years and I think Victor is done. He has decided that it is expensive to feed these animals and would rather spend money on something else. I think he is going to have a butcher frenzy this summer - We will have meat of all kinds in the freezers. CRAZY.

Brings back memories of chickens running around our backyard in Indiana. I think Christopher is still traumatized by the possessed headless chicken that would not die - funny! I still laugh about it. My kids think the story is funny too.

FRIDAY'S MRI

Well, I had my MRI on my neck after work on Friday.

I have had a headache ever since... :)

I don't if the headache was caused by the thumping sounds of the machine or if it was the 25 minutes laying on my back without moving...

I slept most of the weekend trying to escape from the headache. I woke up with worse ones.... :(

Today I am feeling a little better - still have a headache.

My doctor is supposed to have the result of the MRI tomorrow.

Chapter 3

The bright sun beams thrust through the dense boughs of the ancient trees. The light reflecting off the leaves. The constant breeze rustling the leaves - green sequens against a brown canvas.

Alana blinking gazed at the clear blue sky. Birds were chirping; bees were humming as they danced from one flower to the next.

Alana sat up quickly hoping to confront the creature. There was no sign of her or the blazing bonfire that had been there the night before. The only reminder or evidence of last night was the pang inher heart. Why she felt such loss; she did not know. A burden that seemed to have no purpose.

Alana stood up slowly and wlaked to the edge of the clearing and walked the edge until she found an opening that would lead out and through the trees. The ground was worn wher there had been traffic before. Using her hands and arms - extending them in front - she pushed branches and foliage away from her as she walked forward.

She continued inthis fashion for about fifty paces and then felt the cool smooth surface of a stepping stone. She looked down and could see that another was placed just above the first. Still looking down she moved from one stone to the next until the plant life deminished on either side. Before her a stair case made from smooth river stones led up a small hill through the trees. Still moving carefully and deliberately she made her way to the top.

She found herself standing on the edge of a large stone jutting out from the face of a mountain. From this view point she could see a vast desert. The sands glistening like golden diamonds; the sunlight bouncing off; blinding Alana. As her eyes adjusted she was able to see a trail leading off this precipice.

The trail was dry and dusty. Thistles and nettles grew from cracks and cregs along the way. The descent was easy and each step seemed to be easier as she neared the valley floor.

Each step brought the sound of moving water closer and closer and the air became cool. The last few steps of her descent were refreshing and cool. A fresh water spring bubbling up fromt he base of the mountain caught Alana's attention. She was glad for she was covered with dust and dirt. Her feet were cracked from walking barefoot for so long. If she had a mirror she would have shrunk from her tear stained image. She was glad that she did not have a mirror.

She washed her fac and wet her hair. This refreshing moment temporarily camaflouged the situation she was in.

When she felt that she was as clean as she could get she turned back to the mountain; looking up at the stone jetty - mouth wide open...

"Oh my!" she exclaimed. The cliff from which she descended was much higher than she thought. The trail, visival; was narrow and steep - any misstep would have resulted in a perilous fall.

"Oh my," she whispered. "How did i get here?"

"I can not go back the way I came; it is far too dangerous."

Alana turned toward the desert. Across the sandy expanse she could see another mountain. She could make out a snake like ribbon etched in it's side and realized it was a road. The distance seemed reasonable. She was certain she could make it to the other side in a day.

Alana turned back to the mountain - contemplating one last time. Hesitantly she turned back to the desert.

The warm sand rose up between her toes as her feet sunk slowly into the warm ever moving floor of this valley. Each step met resistance as she moved forward.

The desert seemed to expand as she continued to walk. The distance between her and the mountain behind ner never grew. She felt like she was walking in place. The path before her seemed to grow longer. The only change that seemed to occur was the surface she walked upon.

The sand became hot and felt like shards of broken glass pressing against the soles of her feet. The blazing heat of the sun beating down on the sand played tricks on her. Mirages sprung up in various directions as she continued her journey. Once she thought she saw a small child running toward her, she blinke and the image was gone.

The ground would slither across her path; or was it a snake? She could not tell. Red ants marched from their ant hills to some unknown destination. Sand beetles and scorpions and lizards scurried about. An occassional screech from a hawk would echo thorugh the still and otherwise soundless scenery.

The burning sand made her feet itch with pins and needles. She continued to endure the discomfort - hope that this part of her journey would be over soon. The painful tingling began to spread through her body. She felt the pricking in her finger tips and hands - moving to her vace and scalp.

The pain intensifying with each step.

"STOP!" She screamed, "it burns!"

*******************************

LeNore ran down the hall her footfalls echoing on the stone floor. When she arrived at the doorway of Alana's room she met the worried gaze of the physician.

LeNora gasped when she noticed her daughter's blazing red cheeks and parched crimpson lips. Alana no longer lay peacefully as she had the night before. Writhing in obvious pain, Alana appeared to be struggling for breath.

"LeNora, we need to bring her body temperature down," the physician stated calmly with a slight sense of urgency. "We need water and cold compresses."

"I will send my housekeeper to help and will return shortly," LeNora's voice cracking weakly.

LeNora retreated from Alana's room; turning out into the dimly lit hallway. Tears streaming down her face; overwhelmed with concern and despair. Her body began to quake and she could feel her knees growing weak; about to collapse.

Orrin's muscular arms wrapped around his wife's shaking body. He did not speak. He just held her close. LeNora turned slowly to face him and buried her face in his chest; now sobbing. Orrin raised his hands up her back to her head and cradled her gently. The tender touch soother her and her convulsave breathing slowed to long; slow; labored exhales and shallow inhales.

"Orrin," LeNora whispered. "I am so afraid we will lose her. I feel helpless. I don't know what to do."

"LeNora, my love, Alana is strong and she will pass through this storm."

"I'm afraid."

"I know."

Orrin and LeNora stood silently in the hall wrapped in each other's arms. Both hoping and praying for the life of their daughter.

Chapter 2

Alana opened her eyes to the sound of locust chirping and the cool dampness of dusk. She felt the warmth radiating from Sebastian who had curled around her head while she had slept. The night sky was just beginning to awaken. Each new star, like pin pricks through paper added light and beauty to the night.

Sebastian complained softly when Alana sat up and then stretched long; his tail twitching before he stood arching his back. His luminous green eyes piercing the darkness waited for Alan's next move. Meowing impatiently he pressed his head against the palm of Alan's hand that rested light on her right knee as she sat legs crossed before her.

The landscape of night filled with dark shapes and shadows revealed nothing. Alana felt alone with the exceptionof Sebastian, she sensed no other presence. No human or animal sound --
The night orchestra was all that indicated there was still life awake and active.

There was no moon to light the sky or to reveal any opening in the trees to a path that could take her home. She stood turning slowly to see if there was anything to hint which way she should go.

A warm breeze traveled through the open field; the grass bowing low and the leaves in the trees fluttering sounding like a distant ocean crashing upon uninhabited sandy shores.

As the breeze died down a low melancholy note rose up from the earth. It rang through the night. The continuous tone was joined by intermittent tinkling chimes. A melody began to form out of the sounds. Harp strings strummed and plucked by yinvisible hands. A voice utterd indistinguishable words - the message unclear to her mind was painfully acknowledged by her heart.

The music swept over her like a warm bath. Its urging drew her closer. The music continuing to speak to her. The stars burned more brightly and they danced to the rythmn of the song. Alana, entranced, made her way across the field. The music growing louder.

Alana moved swifly through the tall grass; Sebastian following in her wake. Alana didn't notice the thickening of the foliage as she pressed forward. Low lying shrubs grabbed and tugged at her skirt tearing and ripping the fine cloth. Branches snapped and popped in protest as she continued to follow the music.

Shrubs turned to trees that grew steadily taller and thicker. If she had not been so drawn to the music she would have grown frustrated with the denseness of the trees. Still pressing forward she could see fractures of light bursting between the massive trunks like light shining from the welcoming windows of a house at night.

Alana soon stepped out into a small clearing lit up by a bonfire so bright it was as if it was day.

The music was building low and deep from the earth rising high and bursting with chimes and harps ringing through the clear open night sky.

Alana slowly moved forward and around the blazing fire. There on the other side was a small personage singing and playing a harp. There was no distinguishable features. The face seemed to change from a young female child to an angry man and then change back to a youthful man child to a fairy like creature. Sometimes the skin was fair and smooth. Other times it was weathered and tan. The continuous changing faces was intreguing.

Alana sat down on a feather cushion that appeared to be for her. Once she was settled she looked uopn this beautiful creature who had finished its song. The image before her had submitted to an appearance pleasing to Alana.

Kind green eyes gazed back at Alana's. Alana imagined touching the smooth translucient skin. Beneth the surface colors seems to move freely like water flowing and rippling in a pond. The long flowing golden hair flickered like tiny flames.

Alana watched the crimpson lips of this creature as she began to speak.

"I am Time. I am Eternal." she began. "There is nothing in the past; the future or the present I do not see. I know each soul's path and purpose. I am the Keeper of Mysteries and Treasures. I am Life and Death. I am joy and sorrow. Iam pleasure and pain."

Alana gazed upon her companion as she continued, "I am Light. I am Darkness. I am Thirst and Hunger. I am Water and Earth."

Hesitating a little, "Why am I here?" Alana asked.

"What do you seek?" The creature returned.

"I seek nothing." Alana replied.

"What do you desire?"

"I want to go home."

"There is something more." The creature began to change. The color of her skin became more solid and fleshy. Her hair burned a brilliant red. "You would not have heard my call if you weren't ready."

"I do not know what you mean." Alana's voice began to quiver. "I fell asleep in the meadow and awoke at dusk. I could not see the path to go home when I heard your song."

"My song only calls those whose heart is ready." The creature's features softened; turned a pale shade of pink. Green eyes fixed on Alana's brilliant blue eyes - wide with wonder.

"I want to go home. I don't know how to get there. Can you tell me which way to go?"

"Your path is a long and trecherous one."

"It can not be. I just walked this way this morning."

"Your home is found after many journeys... This path is long and will be met with many trials."

"I don't understand!" Alana's frustration shown on her face. She sat staring into the fire. The creature continued to speak in riddles. The sing songy voice and the blazing fire was hypnotizing and she felt her body sink deep into the earth. She felt heavy and weighted down. She was trapped in this place but did not feel the urgency to leave.

The low meloncholy notes began deep below her; rising and swelling. Flutes and horns rang through the trees spiraling upward toward the stars. Harp strings resumed their previous melody and the words that dripped like molasses from the creature's lips pierced Alana's heart. The usually peaceful blue eyes turned yellow-green as salty tears streamed down her cheeks dropping and splattering on her skirt. If a heart could break she was certain that hers would break now.

Filled with sorrow and despair; Alana sobbed; her body trembling and shaking uncontrollably. She longed for comfort. The creature offered no strength or an arm to hold on to. Alana folded upon herslef falling to her side; sobbing until exhaustion. No strength to rise up. The stars gazed down on her broken body that finally slipped into unconsciousness.

Doctor's Advice

Generally speaking I will listen to a Doctor's advice and follow the prescribed plan. Sometimes I get home after an appointment and I want to kick myself because I didn't ask the questions or present the problems as I had originally planned...

Yesterday, I had an appointment with my regular doctor to discuss the "PAIN" Situation and the annoying "pins and needles" in my fingers and hands that I experience on a daily basis.

When he first came into the room he stated that I should be making and keeping my appointments with the Chiropractor. I explained that I have been going and my lower back feels better. It is, however, not helping my neck pain or the pins in needles. I further explained that the sessions with the Chiropractor have resulted in worse pain in my neck accompanied with headaches.

He frowned.

I glared.

He said "Well, I could prescribe some more anti-inflammatories."

I said "No. I don't want any more pills, which only mask the problem. I want to know the extent of the damage in my neck and I want it fixed."

He said "What do you want done."

I said, "Well, don't you think it would be a good idea to see what is going on with the nerves in my neck and to see if there is additional damage to the disks in my neck?"

He said, "If I prescribe and MRI the next step is surgery."

I said "No. I think we need to find out what is wrong and then determine what the next course of action is."

We went round and round for a while and then he consented to get authorization from the insurance company for the MRI.

I then said "While we are here; let's talk about my knees..." :)

He says "What's wrong with your knees?"

I said "The same thing that has been wrong with them for the past 20 years." I then reminded him of the previous conversations we had had which included the types of surgeries I have had on my right knee. I also reminded him that I have suffered the same injury to the left knee and was supposed to have surgery and did not because I had lost my job and had no insurance...

Well, he finally consented to have those looked at too.

My goodness! The first time I actually speak up he wants to give me a hard time!!!! :)

I LOVE SPRING!!! - Revisited

I love April. There are so many things that happen during the Month of April.

General Conference is in April. I love the talks; and like many of you; I look forward to the messages and then try to follow the direction of the First Presidency and the members of the Quorum of the Twelve. I am often inspired and will make changes accordingly.

I also love April because - Easter generally falls in April (except for last year and I think the year before)... :)

In the past, our Ward has had a choir that has performed amazing pieces and it helps add to the Spirit of the Season. Our Choir Director moved to Orem, UT and the two choir directors that followed were short lived. The Bishop approached me at the beginning of the year and expressed his concern due to the lack of music during our Sacrament Meetings and asked that I be a part of adding music (besides a rest hymn) to our services. He did not give me direction on what he was looking for - just left it up to my "good judgment"

Since January the following special musical numbers have been a part of our Sacrament Meetings:

Activity Girls sung: "Choose The Right" - I arranged the music to make it slightly different from the traditional hymn. This was in February

Activity Girls sung: "If the Savior Stood Beside Me" - a beautiful arrangement by Sally DeFord. Megan Lovstedt (graduating Laurel) accompanied us on the Flute and Courtney Neff played the Violin (Second counselor's wife). The girls did a fantastic Job. They sang this song Easter Sunday.

I have performed several piano solos:

As I Have Loved You - amazing arrangement; a little difficult
Love At Home - arrangment by Sally DeFord
O Divine Redeemer - very difficult arrangement. I have performed this twice before - once in the Young Adult Ward in Simi Valley for a Ward Conference. This one I played for Easter Sunday.

Yes, there were two musical numbers for Easter Sunday.

I have sung once (and played the piano - since I am the only accomplished pianist in the ward) - This was for the Relief Society Birthday last month. The Stake Relief Society President was very complimentary. I sang: A Window to his Love

I have about 6 other pieces that I have been practicing. Some will be numbers with the violin and flute others are piano solos. Singing again makes me too nervous - I am practicing two songs... :)

The last reason I love SPRING:

I love all the new life. There are so many plants and animals that seem to spontaneously appear when Spring arrives. My trees and rose bushes are covered with blossoms. My little flower beds are blooming. The vegetable garden is being amended for new plants. The animals have been making babies. It seems that the humming bird population more than doubles each year and there are hundreds of doves... :)

Our chickens have been laying and we have 3 new additions. Two little yellow chicks; both with red stripes and one little black chick with a snow ball patch on his head.

Our newest addition is an abandoned kitten. She is about 4 weeks old and is absolutely adorable. The kids and I have been learning French and the kitten has been name: "Je Suis"
I know I probably spelled that incorrectly... :)

It means "I am"... we just like the sound of it and the name stuck. "Je Suis" already has a purple tent with a very soft pillow and has attached herself to the whole family. Aislyn is the resident Vet and has taken to feeding the kitten with a dropper and is litter training it.

"Je Suis" sleeps in our room. Victor was the lucky one to wake up at 3 a.m. with the kitten and feed her.

Since Fleur had died last summer, Victor has been searching for a new companion for Moya. Since we had already decided that we would not bread Moya until she was at least 2; he is looking for a red and white male husky puppy. He had made several inquiries and we will probably have a new little puppy in the next couple months.

I guess we love more than just SPRING; We love LIFE!!!!! :)

SPRING BREAK

My children completed their first week of Spring Break. Evan started his with a trip to Washington DC and returned last Monday Evening.

Evan slept half the day on Tuesday.

The kids were instructed to clean their rooms and do their chores so that we could go do something by the end of the week. I had taken Thursday and Friday off.

Thursday - rooms still dirty and chores were not done. We didn't go any where. I spent the day going through some plastic totes (decluttering). In the afternoon I worked on some of my new gardening spots - very nice... :)

Thursday evening Alex called wanting to know if we were still going to Magic Mountain on Friday - Victor told him yes and then picked him up.

Friday was a mad scrabble - kids were cleaning and doing chores fast - once they discovered that we were going when the park opened and not when dad got home from work.

Nice day - no lines - a little overcast... First ride: Log Jammer (a water ride) - the only ride I went on because I was soaked to the skin and had to buy a sweatshirt to warm my poor frozen body. The kids road all the water rides several times and then waited in lines (short ones) for neck twisting and back bending roller coasters. They had fun! at 4:30 p.m. I decided that I needed to head back to the front gates so that I could meet up with Victor.

I spent 2 1/2 hours sitting on a bench waiting for Victor. It turns out that Theodore was waiting for Victor when he got home and talked to him for 30 minutes. And then his sister, Sandy, showed up and talked to him for another 15 minutes.... I was not happy... :(

By the time Victor showed up I was ready to go home. Yet I was more than happy to walk around with him for another two hours while the kids went off by themselves.

This is the beginning of week 2 of spring break - I believe the electronic games are in use while I am at work - some time later this week, Lucy is going to take them up to Santa Maria to visit with cousins (huge family). Victor has at least 50 cousins who all have children of their own. If we converted his family it would probably require the church to divide the stake and build a couple new chaples. The Gonzales and Lopez families could fill an LDS chapel four times... :)

Any way, have a great week! :)

THERE ARE STILL GOOD PEOPLE IN THIS WORLD

While Evan was in Washington DC this past weekend he was responsible for his own things which included a new digital camera and his cell phone. Items that we were concerned he may lose... :)

In addition, he was responsible for his own spending money. He took about $140 dollars with him. We gave him a wallet and put his school id and his insurance card in it along with the money.

We had a very serious discussion with him about his belongings and that there wasn't going to be anyone to stay on top of him about his things and that if anything was lost or stolen he would have to do without.

Sunday afternoon we received a phone call from a very upset boy. It took us some time to get him to calm down so that he could speak clearly. It turns out he had lost his cell phone some where... We asked him the usual questions:

"Did you have it this morning?"

"Did you stop somewhere to buy something and leave it on a counter?"

"Did you check the bus?"

"Did you check your pants; jacket; suitcase... etc.?"

The answer was "I don't know or I checked and it's not there."

Victor was reassuring and told Evan that it was okay and that it was something that we could replace. I understood how upset he was and how frustrated he was that he could not find his cell phone.

His friend Michael was kind enough to let Evan borrow his cell phone for the remainder of the trip.

Evan came home a happy boy - excited to share the gifts he bought everyone. I could tell that the cell phone was not an issue on his mind any more... :)

This morning I received a phone call from Evan:

"Mom. The doorbell rang and someone ran away... When I opened the door there was an envelope on the step... It was addressed to me."

I of course knew where this was going...

"I read the outside of the package and saw that it was a phone. I opened the package and my cell phone was inside."

He was very excited and was happy that his cell phone had been found and that someone was kind enough to send it overnight (FEDEX) to his home.

The organizer of the trip had instructed the kids that they should label everything with their name and their address so that items could be found easily. And possiblly prevent theft. The night before he left I cut up my old business cards from being a Notary Public; wrote Evan's name at the top and secured the cards to everything with double sided tape and then covered them with regular tape (my way of laminating).

There are still good people in this world and Happy Endings do exist... :)

LAST DAY - Evan's Coming Home

I am so excited! Evan has called me every day and given me little summaries of his day before he goes to bed.

In true Gonzales Fashion he has purchased souvenirs for his family members instead of for himself! He is terribly excited to come home.

He is expected to arrive at the school tonight at about 10:15 p.m. I am certain that I will get very little sleep tonight.

Evan has taken many pictures and is anxious to share.

Yeah! Evan is coming home!!!! :)

EMPTY ROOM

The alarm clock went off at 6:30 a.m. - I hopped out of bed and began my usual routine...

I went to Evan's room to wake him up and he was not there - a little sad - I remembered that he arrived in Washington D.C. sometime this morning and is already on his first adventure.

All morning I have been thinking about how excited he was and him waving to me and Victor as the bus pulled out of the school parking lot last night at 6:45 p.m. He just kept waving and smiling and I smiled and waved back. I didn't cry - but I wanted to...

Victor unaffected waved back and smiled - knowing that Evan was going to have the time of his life.

I told Victor that when Aislyn goes I am going too. Victor said maybe the both of us could go... :)

Victor later said that it is going to be strange not having Evan in the house for a week. I agreed.

Evan has always been the happy; cheerful boy - sometimes silly - but always smiling and laughing. With just the girls for the weekend - the house will feel empty. They are both very quiet. Aislyn always serious - reads a lot. Allisa happy in the kitchen making something is also very quiet and can spend hours there baking and watching a movie or two. Sometimes we'll hear her singing away.

Victor will probably watch TV every night while I work on some project to enter in the fair.

Family prayer felt strange this morning and eating at the dinner table will probably feel awkward too... :)

I am anticipating his phone call this evening, which I will probably get as I am getting off work. I told Evan that he could call me or dad on our cell phones when he gets back to the hotel each night. Evan has his own cell phone and it only costs him a dollar to use it each day he uses it. He doesn't get charged for minutes as long as he calls the house or me or Victor. Such a deal! :)

So... a little sad... a little lonely... :)