Free Verse - I Dreamt It Once

I dreamt it once:

Gentle hands; fingers tracing lines 

From spine to breast.

Long deep breaths flowing across my neck

Lips lingering to trace the heartbeat there.

The world turning like a top; 

passion swinging, swaying.

I dreamt it once again:

Hands touching, fingers laced, holding tighter

A long embrace.

Warm waves ascending from deep inside

Where passion alone resides.

Heart racing, labored breathing, eyes open - 

Wide awake.

I imagined once:

You there, arms wrapped around;

Me securely in your embrace.

You leaning, me looking up into your eyes

Warm, soft buttery lips against mine.

I imagined it again:

You walked into the room; confident

I looked away - ashamed I dreamt of you that way

You came closer still; I could feel you near

Me hoping to hide - the shame I felt inside.

Every day I see you,

I dream and imagine it all over again.

I do not wish you to know,

But do enjoy these daydreams so.

One day you did not come,

My heart breaking - I wept inside.

I wish to keep you - afraid to lose the dream

My heart is breaking - I weep inside.

UNREQUITED

UNREQUITED

If it exists; it remains out of reach.

Dodging, twisting, racing, shrinking away

I had it once upon a time - true love.

Or so I thought - ripping, shredding, tearing

It left me - completely.  Alone in the dark.

Believing once of Faith, Hope, Charity, Love

Virtues often lauded within sacred text.

A knight in shining armor - no, mercenary

With twin rapiers strapped across his back

My virtues stripped and laid bare - sprawling - lifeless -

Left for dead.

Stretched across the un-sodden earth;

Naked

Ashamed

Alone

And he with his unsheathed, 

bloody rapiers; thrusting; carving away pieces

Taking what he owned.

Festering - fibrous cancer - all that remains

Broken - battered - beaten - barren - betrayed.

Faith: belief or trust in the unseen -

 trusting love exists.

Without my shade - the rapier’s senseless sacrifice -

My compass lost -

True love out of reach - the rapier’s cost.

Broken; soul to soul, I heard your voice - a plea

An echo of my own - kindred spirit - unknown

A seed planted - kindness sprouted

An echo back to me.

What was it that you said?  Or was it how you said it?

Feelings long buried sprung up - reaching - grasping

Rootless - shriveling away.

Oh troubled heart - not free to love another

Tethered to lovelessness - longing to break free.

My soul, trapped in its cage of bones

Fingers clasped tightly - ribs aching, cracking.

Lungs restricted; labored breathing - shaking.

You looked at me - my heart leaping from sorrow into hope

dragged back down

The pit - so dark - so isolated - lost - alone.

You draw near - I hear the ebb and flow of your breath

Your warm embrace imagined; my head resting on your chest.

You speak - I watch - curious - lips; are they soft?

Your tenderness; your caress - my broken heart - beating.

I sit staring at the rapiers on the wall - sheathed -

There they remain.

Afraid to pass them and cross the threshold

To the freedom and release; 

out there; somewhere.

You, the beacon, in the darkness, leading me,

Beaconing me - shackled where I stand

And you - out of reach.

Imagined - your touch, your caress, your embrace.

Iron chains; in your place

And you - unaware.

Holding my shade.

So with the dagger drawn from between my breasts

With a single cut - I remove the pain - 

 rising away on ethereal wings;

Yet, you remain.

Another cut - fueled passion; flames and dies - 

ash and cinder scattered across the night skies.

Yet, you remain.

Once more - grasping;  your lips and hands out of reach - 

cherry blossoms flung away

Yet, you remain.

Cold, unyielding steel against my flesh

A sigh escapes my untouched lips - a whispered “please”  

Acquiesced, relinquished life.

Still, you remain.

I marvel at the gaping wounds, where flesh and sinew meet

Crimson beads, slowly rising

Tears flowing - washing - welling up

Love’s well-spring overflowing;

You remain.

You, my soulmate - never knowing;

Cradling my shade.

I retrace each cut a little deeper -

 a little longer - stinging.  Hoping to cut it all away.

Pressed against the skin - I drive the silver blade - leaving its white shadow.

Releasing; lifting - flesh falling away - beautiful scarlet lines revealed -

All that remains.

Muscles contracting and veins weeping

Through blinding tears I see.

You remain:

 Forbidden, unrequited, my love.

My Shade.

Another Adventure

My time is near for another adventure -
One where my life should have meant something.

I feel the sun on my face as I
Watch it set for me; possibly
one last time.

I hope I still have time to do so
Many things I haven't done yet.

The backpacking across Europe remains
On my list.

I wish I could still do that; with
Someone who would want to see
Europe too.

I think I want to spend a year
There exploring the space and nature.

Maybe I'll paint the Italian sky -
You know the light is different there.

Maybe I'll spend time at a Sicilian
Vineyard; learning how to grow grapes

And then learning how to make wine.
Maybe, I'll create a label; leaving
Something of myself behind.

I would like to explore so many places
Like Stonehenge; the Louvre, Kensington
Palace and Westminster Abbey.

Maybe I'd take you; the you that is
Most important to me; the you that
Fills my soul with light.

Maybe I'll leave this life as you hold
Me.  We'll be watching the Mediterranean
Sunset; with me cradled in your arms.

But, what will I be leaving?  Have I
Made a difference?  Will I be
Remembered after I'm gone?

Will you remember me?

I'll remember you; the spark of life
That you've given me.  I will
Cherish it and protect it.

I still have time.

I will leave my mark.

Another Adventure Storybook Link