Piano Voices

Piano

I.

I know your mood each time
You stroke my keys
Your choice of signature
Metre and key
The Sonnet and the March
A steady beat
The Minuet and Waltz
O’ so complete
Your sadness swells among
The ebony
While happiness rises
Twinkling above the higher range


II.

Today your anger is pounded
Out upon my board and the thumping
Of the peddles releasing and sustaining
Your sadness of yesterday swelled
When your fingers glided across
The black keys of the minor chord
Tomorrow I hope that joy and
Happiness will join our duet and
Make a trio, plus a refrain

III.

You met me when you were eight and you loved me the instant you could make my heart strings sing.  You labeled every white key with masking tape; a map to the music played.  You took your anger out on me by pounding the keys and stomping on my pedals without leaving a single blemish upon my shiny surface.  I remember when you fell in love.; your hands drifted over my board as your fingers caressed the smooth ivory and ebony keys, dropping the hammers against my internal wires; almost like fingers stroking the strings of a harp.

Diamantes Are A Girl's Best Friend

TREE

ROUGH HARD

SAWING SPLITTING SHAPING

PLANK SHEET HAMMER NAIL

SANDING PAINTING SELLING

BEAUTIFUL SMOOTH

TABLE

CHILD

INNOCENT CURIOUS

CRAWLING WALKING RUNNING

TOYS BOOKS BIKES CARS

STUDYING WORKING LIVING

CONFIDENT EXPERIENCED

MAN

PAPER

BLANK FRESH

INVITING WAITING DAUNTING

PEN HAND MIND THOUGHT

WRITING READING THINKING

TERRIBLE BORING

TRASH

A Few Clerihew For You to View

David Bowie

Ate a hoagie

Captured Sarah

Instead of Farrah

Benedict Cumberbatch as Doctor Strange

Has proved through the skillful acting emotional range

Through several roles throughout his training

I think that Doctor Strange most entertaining

Tom Hiddleston best known as Loki

Embraces his role of trickster even when it seems a bit hokie

My daughter Allisa dreams of being wed

Yet realizes it may not be so with certain dread

Modular Poem - Pain

Thursday

I remember parts of Thursday - watched "Coraline" and wrote tons of notes because we are watching it for a college class.

"Coraline" is a little creepy - why would I let my kids watch it?  It's not like I can stop them, they are already adults.  And they've already watched it.

Friday

Friday was my day of bliss with my hands in clay all day. Well until 2:00 p.m. Seven hours of bliss. Then I was home; something happened that distressed me into a panic.   I was a reck for the rest of the day.

Saturday

I originally had plans for Fish n Chips; I canceled them.  I told my friends a half-truth for the reason why.  I made new plans on Friday for Saturday and ended up not doing the new plans either.  I didn't lie - I just didn't tell the whole truth.

Instead of having a nice day out with my friends, I stayed home all day - cleaned; washed some clothes; finished an essay.

BTW: It’s not like me to lie. I didn’t want to lie - but I was embarrassed and ashamed...

Sunday

I don’t remember Sunday. I think I sat at my computer - Oh yeah, I did. I remember now.  There was more homework to do, mail to open and files to organize.  It was awesome, I found a short story I had started writing a while back - it's pretty good.  Right now it's sad - I promise there is a happy ending - but not like a fairy tale happy ending - those aren't real.  If they were I would be with the prince of my dreams.

Monday

I was excited about school; I was going to see my favorite people. I don’t think I’m theirs… I don’t care.

I still get to see them and talk with them.  We share ideas and experiences - well not everyone - I have some friends who don't say much; but when they do it is meaningful, intelligent, brilliant and often pretty funny. Actually, it's just one friend.  One of my favorites.

Oh, I put the wrong contacts in - because I couldn't see the color - apparently I wore my black ones and terrified all the students in the tutoring center; plus some of the tutors - this might explain the strange look I received from one of my favorites in the creative writing class.  Another friend, Max, told me that he thought I was possessed.

Tuesday

I got to see two more favorite people. We watched the ending of "Coraline" and then my two favorite people and I worked on a poster.   We drew an eye, a button, a drachma and the river Styx with the ferryman.  I really enjoyed that.  And we wrote some drivel:  "the eyes are the windows to the soul".  I guess it's not drivel - I cover my eyes with contacts so no one can see into my soul.  I wear mine on my sleeve - or is that my heart?

OMG! I felt an earthquake after class. I freaked out. I told a friend. I don’t think he believed me. It was real. I swear. You can ask my other friend, who was there.

Wednesday

Today is Wednesday. I woke up this morning in pain. A pain that I am all too familiar with. It’s the pain that I was warned about.  The pain that precedes the necessity of the wheelchair - kind of like the calm before the storm -but the storm is happening now.   Victor purchased my new wheelchair six months ago. As soon as I become friends with the wheelchair I will have to schedule surgery. I will have to quit school. I will not be able to do anything for at least six months… the definition of complete empty calm.

I don’t want that. I want to live my life and do all the things that I haven’t done yet. I want to get another piercing and I want to get my first tattoo (I'm a little afraid).  I want to kiss the young man that I fancy - I'm glad he doesn't know  - At least I don't think so. I want to write an epic novel. I want to travel to Europe. I want to walk the line for graduation with my favorites.

So, I put my jazz shoes on and kicked my heel at the beautiful blue wheelchair sitting in the corner. I will wear these shoes all day so that I can feel each pebble and crack in the concrete. I will feel the warmth of the heated cement and asphalt and the texture of the carpet in the LRC. I will perform Tai Chi feeling every slat of wood along with its cracks. And I will memorize it all for when I can’t.

Prose Poetry - Pain

The pain woke me far too early. 4:00 a.m. maybe. Tears welled up; not because of the pain, but for what the pain meant. Struggling, I finally slip out of bed; pushing past pain. The wheelchair in the corner with outstretched arms waiting for me to accept his embrace. “Not today,” I said. “Perhaps tomorrow; for I have too much to do today.”

I cried again in the shower - because I was alone.  Showers are perfect places to sob and so I did.  I took my time selecting my clothes, styling my hair and applying my make-up.  It was important for me to feel pretty and pretend that everything was okay.

Weak and shaky, I will make it through today; on my own; like I have been doing all along.

As I walked out the front door I turned to the corner and said: "Mr. Blue, my wheelchair; you will just have to wait, I’m not ready. Ask me tomorrow."  I can almost guarantee I won't give in to the pain or that beautiful blue wheelchair.

Free Verse - Pain

I woke this morning to the pain; returned
I found myself weeping at its cost
I found the courage to rise and
Push through the pain.

I should have known; there were
Symptoms before the pain.
I ignored it; denying it; hoping
For another day.

I put my dance shoes on; my defiance
And hatred for the wheelchair
That sits in the corner waiting for
Me to need him - not today.

My reason for living drives and pushes
Me past the pain.
Yet shaking and weak; I am here today.
Pushing past the pain.

The day will come when I won’t be able
To stand, but I stand today.
I push through and work hard to finish
Everything I’ve started.

I want to leave my mark; before I can’t.

Heather Satin

The heather soft one and the satin black

  curled; resting quietly at my feet.

The mother and her milk are far distant

  memories, dreaming, lonely doth they sleep.

Hissing, jumping, cattail and paw boxing

  whining, crying, tail twitching while eating.

Kneading, fluffing, curled up against my side

  purring, stretching,  eyes gazing into mine.

The gray and black safe from neglect and harm

The gray one and the black one

  now cradled in my arms.