I AM A GRANDMA

Our first granddaughter was born Sunday, August 7th at 1:05 a.m. weighing in at nine lbs. three oz.  Her parents, Vincent and Stevie have named her Katana Ray (not sure of the spelling).

Victor and I had sent the late evening into the early morning waiting for this beautiful, not so little, girl.  It was with great joy and relief that she finally arrived.  Here are a few pictures for your viewing pleasure:

AISLYN'S GRADUTION PICS

MOYA THE PROUD MAMA

Moya is the new mama of 7 little Siberian Huskies.  The little family came together on Tuesday, July 26th.  The first puppy was born around 8 a.m. and the last puppy was born around 6 p.m.  What a long day for any mama!  Here are the beautiful pictures of this sweet little family:

STRAWBERRIES

Since I can remember I have always loved strawberries.  I love strawberry pie; strawberry jam; strawberry flavored mountain dew and strawberries with whipping cream and sponge cake.

Monday I received a phone call from the Relief Society President letting me know that one of the local growers was granting access to his field for picking.  Victor called me later letting me know that he wanted to go pick strawberries.

I raced home from work; picked up the family and we drove to the strawberry field with our boxes and buckets for picking.  We spent two hours picking.  On the way home we picked up some freezer bags to store the strawberries.

I also made a deal with the kids.  I purchased a tub of twizzlers and a box of rice crispy treats as the incentive:  "If you have all the strawberries washed; cut and put in the freezer bags before I get home from work tomorrow you may have the twizzlers and the rice crispy treats."  The question:  "We get them all to ourselves and we don't have to share?"  "Yes, they are all yours if you take care of the strawberries.  If you don't I get the twizzlers and the rice crispy treats and I will take them to work."

The next day I came home from work and the kids excitedly told me that they had finished all the strawberries.  I asked how many freezer bags were filled.  The response:  16 one gallon freezer bags.  I had estimated that we had picked about 18 gallons of strawberries.  I figured that smoothies would be made and they were throughout the day.

The goal is to eventually make strawberry jam.

BITS AND PIECES

Summer is upon us; kids are on break from school; and life is moving forward.

Evan is about 6' now and moves about the house and everywhere else like Edward Cullen.  I have been calling him Edward for about a month.  He is enjoying the continued attention of his female friends.  He keeps his cool and doesn't let it go to his head.  He and Aislyn went to youth conference a couple weeks back - they participated in a three day Pioneer Trek and had a great time.  One of their friends from school participated and was just baptized July 4th.

Aislyn is growing like a weed and is becoming a beautiful young woman.  She is currently the YW Class President and really enjoys attending church.  She has many friends from other wards throughout the stake and can't wait to attend her first Stake Dance.  She still has friends in the Ventura Stake and will get to see them at the Stake Dances since they are combined with the Ventura Stake.  Aislyn graduated from Middle School and starts High School in the fall.  She will get to see all her friends from the Camarillo Wards!!

Allisa is finally growing and we now are about eye to eye (or nose to nose)...  She is hapy that her hair has finally grown out and won't let me cut it again.  We'll have to see about that.  Allisa finished off 6th grade with high honors.  She was on the honor roll three terms out of the four.  The first term she was on the Merit Roll (she had been sick the first part of the year and missed a great deal of school).  She is excited about 7th grade and hopes to continue her stellar performance the next two years.  The goal is Valedictorian.

Besides work, Victor and I are busy with the yard, garden and ward callings and assignments.  There doesn't seem to be enough time in the day to get things done.

The family will be participating in County Fair Activities.  Evan, Aislyn and Allisa have been invited to volunteer.  They haven't decide yet if they will.  They do get free admission for volunteering.

Every type of animal has had babies this spring.  We are anticipating our first set of husky puppies in the next week or so.  We are so excited!

Any way, just wanted to give you an update.  Will be having more time in the future to blog.

IN BEREAVEMENT

It seems that the older I get the more in touch with mortality I become.  Not to say that I think about my mortality often; I am just face to face with man's fraility as friends and loved ones pass from this life.  I realize that this life is temporary.

Last month, our dear friend, Bill Cullen passed away.  His passing was both a relief and a sorrow.  Days following his passing, my friend Gwenda and I spent an evening going through his family photos so that we could have pictures displayed at his funeral.  We were able to share memories of him and his wife, who passed away several years prior.  We had some great laughs and some tears.

As the day of the funeral approached I had been asked about music and poetry that could be shared during the services.  When I thought about Bill and his impact on my family and his great affection towards me and Victor I immediately thought of the poem:  "The Bridge Builder".  This poem was placed in the program along with his picture.

When Sharon, Bill's wife, was alive I had played "O Divine Redeemer" as a rest piece during Sacrament Meeting.  Both Sharon and Bill expressed their appreciation for the music and what it had meant to them.  When Sharon died, Bill asked me to play the piano during the services.  I was honoured to do so.  When I was asked about music for Bill's services the music for "O Divine Redeemer" came to mind.  I could hear the beautiful voices of the Mormon Tabernacle Choir in my mind, each word leaving profound feelings upon my soul.  I offered to play this piece again for Bill's services.  Understanding the great sacrifice that the Saviour has made for each of us I knew that this song completely represented Bill's faith in the Lord, Jesus Christ.

I guess by now you are asking why I bring this up nearly six weeks after his passing and funeral services.

In the past I have struggled with my ability to express my condolences to those who have lost dear family members and loved ones.  I never knew what to write in a card or how to say what I felt for the one left suffering the loss.

Good Housekeeping has this to say:

"As life goes on, sorrows as well as joys come to my lady.  Mr. Bennett, a family friend, dies, and flowers are sent to the house, no longer great set forms, nor exclusively white and purple blossoms, but long-stemmed flowers of any color, tied with white satin ribbons.  My lady calls on Mrs. Bennett, and though she does not see her, leaves a note expressing in a few simple words her affection and sympathy.  The only possible comfort one can give in time of bereavement is the assurance that the sorrows is shared by all the circle of friends.  It is not the time for a sermon but for words of human love.  Where the number of letters of condolence is too large to be answered with personal notes, it is sometimes the custom of mourning family to issue small black-bordered cards, engraved with a few lines of appreciation."

As Latter Day Saints, we sometimes sound trite in our responses when we express our condolences.  We know the purpose of life and understand the Plan of Salvation.  This makes it easy for us to say that we know we will see this person again or that they are in a better place.  To those who don't have a complete understanding of the Gospel these words sound empty and impersonal. 

When we share our expressions of love and concern for those that are left behind in sorrow we need to acknowledge them and their feelings.  The loss is real; the feelings of pain, sadness and loneliness are real.  Our compassion and love as taught by the Saviour are more powerful and profound to the person who is suffering.

SOCIAL LIFE - Sundry Obligations

In 1904 Good Housekeeping published a guide for tips on entertaining: The Good Housekeeping Hostess - An Old-Fashioned Guide to Gracious Living.  In this book there are smart ideas and guidance that still apply today, as well as a fascinating glimpse of social life in an earlier era.

I have found the book entertaining; thought provoking; and enlightening.  This along with the giant Miss Manners book, my social behavior has been shaped and molded.  I am not yet so socially refined that I have set myself high above the rest in any social class.  I am however confident that I will not embarrass myself.

Below is a quote from the book:

"It sometimes happens in our experience that though we possess many beautiful and valuable bits of information, we lack that very one for which we have immediate need, and like the lady who glories in nine rose point berthas and perforce remains away from the horse show for want of linen collar and cuffs, we may know quite glibly that the nation's chief in far-away Washington is addressed as His Excellency, and yet pucker our brows in vain bewilderment as to whether plain little next-door Lucy is our dear Mrs. Gray or simply dear Lucy since she came home from the honeymoon.

"Perhaps it will help a little if we remember that all conventions are in their final analysis dictated by the heart and based on the golden rule.  They may have been cut long ago at some grand court, and dried through usage among gentlefolk of many lands, and yet they are less arbitrary than would seem at first thought.  Rules of etiquette have always been equally binding on all members of the set which uses them, and as my lady is sometimes guest and on other occasions hostess, it would plainly be but natural for her to advocate the least irksome duty for each class; besides which is the fact that truly well-bred people regulate their conduct by kindly feeling for each other.

"To be sure there are the fads which crop up from year to year, and the improper use of forks and finger bowls has been made such a bogie that many a woman, on her way to a large dinner, trembles at thought of the ordeal before her.  But no lady need really fear.  Table etiquette, like all the rest, is primarily to protect us from unpleasing spectacles; and it is by no means impossible for a gentlewoman to handle her asparagus in an old-fashioned manner without losing caste, while the person next her conforms to the fad of the day and yet offends by a too-evident enjoyment of her salad.

"If, then, you are not sure as to the exact requirement in certain social obligations, and have no way of finding out, do the thing you would consider graceful and kind were you in the position of the other person concerned; and above all things, keep on your face the calm smile of self-possession, which goes so far to prove that you know what you are about."

This book and others like it remind me of the characters in books and movies like "Emma", "Sense and Sensibility", and "Persuasion".  Often my mind fashions what life would have been like had I  been born in that time.  I fantasize about the life and social gatherings depicted in movies like "The Age of Innocence" and long for the bright colours and formality.

Then I recall all the things and experiences I was exposed to in my own life.  The opportunities to participate in musical learning; visual arts and culture.  There was no lack of the beauty and social etiquette portrayed in those movies and books that my own Mother valued and made sure that we were taught.

 Growing up, Mother, taught me many things about polite behavior and how to act like a lady.

One of the first lessons from Mother was how to walk like a lady and not like a "farmer".  We spent time in the kitchen practicing.  I would walk a straight line between the rows of tile; making sure my feet did not venture outside that line.  The days of walking like I had just gotten off a horse were quickly swept away and replaced with a graceful narrow glide across the kitchen floor.  At least that was the goal.

Mother also reinforced the "Golden Rule" reminding us to treat others with the kindness and respect that we would like to receive.  She also used the words of Thumper's mother "If you can't say anything nice don't say anything at all."  This is behavior dictated by the heart and conduct regulated by kindly feeling for each other. 

I have found that there is a great lack of kindly feeling for others in this world.  It has been replaced by smug; condescending; hurtful words aimed at destroying others and raising one's self above the rest.  I see this disgraceful behavior everywhere.  It is in the work place; on the freeways; in the class room; at the market and even at church.  What a disgrace to modern society.  What a shame that we can't even follow the simple command of the Savior "Love one another."

Mother didn't teach just by her words.  She has often shown how to act like a lady by her own behavior.    She is the example of grace; kindness and peace.  She is the one in a crowded room; in a social gathering or even at church who is the one person who has mastered the grace of putting herself in the position of the other person.  She keeps on her face the calm smile of self-possession, proving that she knows what she is about.

Even with all the books on etiquette; gracious living; and acceptable behavior I have learned more from my Mother than anywhere else.  If I am to pattern my life after someone I know it would be my Mother.  I have no fear of being led astray because I know that she has patterned her life after the Savior.