Man’s Nature

From Peer Gynt’s Morning Mood

And Debussy’s Claire de Lune

The morning sun upon my back

And midnight’s moonlit shadows lack.

The warmth of day and chill of breeze

Bring pleasures mixed and to my knees

The chill of night and rhythmic seas

Remind me to ever be.

The sun, the moon, the breeze the sea

They were all created for me.

The road, the track, the path the gate

Man bade us nature hate.

Light and life doth nature bring

Of such things my soul softly sings.

Industry shrouds the day and night

In ashy veils, a dreadful sight.

Sonnet: I Dreamt It Once

I dreamt and imagined me in your arms

My heart racing; secure in your embrace

Eyes wide open; gazing upon your face

Arms tangled; gently breathing; safe from harm

Across my neck; your kisses leaving lines

Gentle hands tracing lines from spine to breast

Lips lingering at nape of neck; to rest

Your hands caress and press against my spine

Only imagined and but a dream it seems

Hands touching; fingers laced; holding tighter

Beautiful daydreams make my heart lighter

Wishing to keep; afraid to lose the dreams

I dream and imagine it all again

To dream; to imagine; again and again.

Silence

Florescent and track lights shown brightly overhead; a complete contrast to the silence filling the spacious tutoring center. A single voice boomed across the room alerting the five tutors that they were not alone.

Silence filled the space again.

"Social Distancing" the new norm.

The silver globe perched on its pedestal; solid and strong doesn't seem to notice the absence of students. It does not bend to wind rushing through the campus; creating a love song for the trees and shrubs to dance to.

As the wind dies the silence deepens. Solitary figures sinking into their seats; settled for a couple more hours of silent reflection beneath a canopy of artificial lights.

by Rebecca Ann Hyde Gonzales
Written March 18, 2020

Beneath The Trees

For one bright year, it was just me and thee

Playing beneath the apple and pear trees.

Along came another so bright and fair

Teary,  glassy, blue eyes and dark brown hair.

Little mothers to be beneath the trees

Learning to love, nurture, snuggle and tease.

Another year together, me and thee

Playing beneath the apple and pear trees.

Seasons and places change for me and thee

We still find time to play beneath the trees.

Picking each peach and plum found at our feet

Washing, slicing, so sugar sweet to eat.

What once was three becomes four and then five

Our little home, buzzing like a beehive.

Another year together, me and thee

Playing beneath old deciduous trees.

Yet time moves on beneath all ancient trees

Who lonely, wish to be near me and thee.

Ancient, the black walnut rests on the hill

Swaying and bending with each little shrill.

The rope drawn taught as we clung to the tires

Our gangly legs reached higher and higher.

What once was five becomes six and seven

Two precious spirits from spires of heaven.

For many years it was just me and thee

Dancing and playing beneath the palm trees.

They stretched high above us touching blue skies

Until I found him gazing in your eyes.

We witnessed vows born of a love divine

Both your hands' commingling and intertwined.

One last moment it was just me and thee

Before you left me beneath a lone tree.

Years passed without the company of thee

I think of you beneath my citrus trees.

Alone, you raised your four and I my three

Who played and laughed beneath our separate trees.

Again time moves on beneath the ancient trees

Who lonely, wish to be near me and thee.

Another day will pass for me and thee

One standing, one sleeping beneath the trees.

Free Verse - I Dreamt It Once

I dreamt it once:

Gentle hands; fingers tracing lines 

From spine to breast.

Long deep breaths flowing across my neck

Lips lingering to trace the heartbeat there.

The world turning like a top; 

passion swinging, swaying.

I dreamt it once again:

Hands touching, fingers laced, holding tighter

A long embrace.

Warm waves ascending from deep inside

Where passion alone resides.

Heart racing, labored breathing, eyes open - 

Wide awake.

I imagined once:

You there, arms wrapped around;

Me securely in your embrace.

You leaning, me looking up into your eyes

Warm, soft buttery lips against mine.

I imagined it again:

You walked into the room; confident

I looked away - ashamed I dreamt of you that way

You came closer still; I could feel you near

Me hoping to hide - the shame I felt inside.

Every day I see you,

I dream and imagine it all over again.

I do not wish you to know,

But do enjoy these daydreams so.

One day you did not come,

My heart breaking - I wept inside.

I wish to keep you - afraid to lose the dream

My heart is breaking - I weep inside.

UNREQUITED

UNREQUITED

If it exists; it remains out of reach.

Dodging, twisting, racing, shrinking away

I had it once upon a time - true love.

Or so I thought - ripping, shredding, tearing

It left me - completely.  Alone in the dark.

Believing once of Faith, Hope, Charity, Love

Virtues often lauded within sacred text.

A knight in shining armor - no, mercenary

With twin rapiers strapped across his back

My virtues stripped and laid bare - sprawling - lifeless -

Left for dead.

Stretched across the un-sodden earth;

Naked

Ashamed

Alone

And he with his unsheathed, 

bloody rapiers; thrusting; carving away pieces

Taking what he owned.

Festering - fibrous cancer - all that remains

Broken - battered - beaten - barren - betrayed.

Faith: belief or trust in the unseen -

 trusting love exists.

Without my shade - the rapier’s senseless sacrifice -

My compass lost -

True love out of reach - the rapier’s cost.

Broken; soul to soul, I heard your voice - a plea

An echo of my own - kindred spirit - unknown

A seed planted - kindness sprouted

An echo back to me.

What was it that you said?  Or was it how you said it?

Feelings long buried sprung up - reaching - grasping

Rootless - shriveling away.

Oh troubled heart - not free to love another

Tethered to lovelessness - longing to break free.

My soul, trapped in its cage of bones

Fingers clasped tightly - ribs aching, cracking.

Lungs restricted; labored breathing - shaking.

You looked at me - my heart leaping from sorrow into hope

dragged back down

The pit - so dark - so isolated - lost - alone.

You draw near - I hear the ebb and flow of your breath

Your warm embrace imagined; my head resting on your chest.

You speak - I watch - curious - lips; are they soft?

Your tenderness; your caress - my broken heart - beating.

I sit staring at the rapiers on the wall - sheathed -

There they remain.

Afraid to pass them and cross the threshold

To the freedom and release; 

out there; somewhere.

You, the beacon, in the darkness, leading me,

Beaconing me - shackled where I stand

And you - out of reach.

Imagined - your touch, your caress, your embrace.

Iron chains; in your place

And you - unaware.

Holding my shade.

So with the dagger drawn from between my breasts

With a single cut - I remove the pain - 

 rising away on ethereal wings;

Yet, you remain.

Another cut - fueled passion; flames and dies - 

ash and cinder scattered across the night skies.

Yet, you remain.

Once more - grasping;  your lips and hands out of reach - 

cherry blossoms flung away

Yet, you remain.

Cold, unyielding steel against my flesh

A sigh escapes my untouched lips - a whispered “please”  

Acquiesced, relinquished life.

Still, you remain.

I marvel at the gaping wounds, where flesh and sinew meet

Crimson beads, slowly rising

Tears flowing - washing - welling up

Love’s well-spring overflowing;

You remain.

You, my soulmate - never knowing;

Cradling my shade.

I retrace each cut a little deeper -

 a little longer - stinging.  Hoping to cut it all away.

Pressed against the skin - I drive the silver blade - leaving its white shadow.

Releasing; lifting - flesh falling away - beautiful scarlet lines revealed -

All that remains.

Muscles contracting and veins weeping

Through blinding tears I see.

You remain:

 Forbidden, unrequited, my love.

My Shade.

Another Adventure

My time is near for another adventure -
One where my life should have meant something.

I feel the sun on my face as I
Watch it set for me; possibly
one last time.

I hope I still have time to do so
Many things I haven't done yet.

The backpacking across Europe remains
On my list.

I wish I could still do that; with
Someone who would want to see
Europe too.

I think I want to spend a year
There exploring the space and nature.

Maybe I'll paint the Italian sky -
You know the light is different there.

Maybe I'll spend time at a Sicilian
Vineyard; learning how to grow grapes

And then learning how to make wine.
Maybe, I'll create a label; leaving
Something of myself behind.

I would like to explore so many places
Like Stonehenge; the Louvre, Kensington
Palace and Westminster Abbey.

Maybe I'd take you; the you that is
Most important to me; the you that
Fills my soul with light.

Maybe I'll leave this life as you hold
Me.  We'll be watching the Mediterranean
Sunset; with me cradled in your arms.

But, what will I be leaving?  Have I
Made a difference?  Will I be
Remembered after I'm gone?

Will you remember me?

I'll remember you; the spark of life
That you've given me.  I will
Cherish it and protect it.

I still have time.

I will leave my mark.

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