AN ODE TO DAVE

I have a really good friend at work who sent me this cute little ditty that made me laugh so hard that I had to share it with my family.

I have called this An Ode to Dave because I feel a little like him when I lament over the weight loss expected by my doctor and the amount of work and effort required. So to my brother Dave, do not feel alone in your pursuit of a thinner you it will come.

The Importance of Walking

Walking can add minutes to your life.
This enables you at 85 years old
to spend an additional 5 months in a nursing
home at $7000 per month.

My mother-in-law started walking

five miles a day when she was 80.

Now she's 81 years old and we don't know where the hell she is.

I like long walks,

especially when they are taken

by people who annoy me.

I have to walk early in the morning,

before my brain figures out what I'm doing.

I joined a health club last year,
spent about 400 bucks.
Haven't lost a pound.
Apparently you have to go there.

Every time I hear the dirty word 'exercise',

I wash my mouth out with chocolate.

I do have flabby thighs,

but fortunately my stomach covers them.

The advantage of exercising every day
is so when you die, they'll say,
'Well, she looks good doesn't she.'

If you are going to try cross-country skiing,

start with a small country.

I know I got a lot of exercise
the last few years,......
just getting over the hill.


We all get heavier as we get older,

because there's a lot more information in our heads.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Every time I start thinking too much
about how I look,
I just find a Happy Hour place; (my living room watching Farscape with my husband)
and by the time I leave,
I look just fine!! (MOUNTAIN DEW - SUPER NOVA IS THE BOMB!!!!!!!!)