LOOKING UP

I went to the hospital at noon today and stayed for about 6 hours. I go back after 8 p.m.

Victor is doing much better. The ultrasound confirmed that he does not have gal stones. YEAH!!!!!!!!!! This is a relief. If there had been any stones; surgery was a definite.

The day nurse pulled up Victor's images from the Ultra sound; the CTScans and the X-rays. He also played the voice reports so I could hear the doctor's comments. It was nice to be able to see with my own eyes exactly what is going on inside of Victor. His sugar levels have been good and he hasn't needed any insulin. His labs came back good and his lipids are down to 106.

The pancreas; of course; is still inflamed and he is still running a temperature. His kidneys are fine - which is also a relief. The doctors and nurses were concerned that they might fail since he started experiencing pain in his kidnesy shortly after he was admitted to the hospital. His systems are still backed-up and for those of you who like acronyms you can figure out the little phrase that is being used to describe my husband's condition: FOS

Victor has literally been the BUTT of the jokes in ICU and it has been nice to see him smile.

He was more alert today and when Elliott came to visit, Victor asked questions about conversations that Elliott and I have had over the past couple days when we thought he was asleep. It surprised Elliott. I thought it was funny.

The doctor filling in for Dr. Bhangoli let Victor know that he could probably start drinking clear liquids and eating jello. Victor's favorite. He is starving and wants to eat real food.

He has been trying to get Elliott to sneak in jolly ranchers so that he has something to suck on. This information was shared with the doctor and he told Victor that was not a good idea.

The day nurse stated that Victor may be moved back to a regular room tomorrow if he continues to improve as he has all day.

I have been deeply touched by the support that our family has received from the ward. Victor has been visited every day by members of the ward and they have offered assistance and relief. I have known that Victor is loved and respected in our Ward; yet it has been confirmed in such tangible ways the past five days. The Ward has shown how much they love him. Today the Sotos took Evan, Aislyn and Allisa on a hike and then took them to In-N-Out. Brother Soto is the 1st counselor in the bishopric.

We are having meals brought in every day this week since I am at the hospital until 6 p.m. when ICU is closed to visitors while they are doing the shift change routines. The families that have been scheduled to bring the meals in have done so with great love and affection for this family and I have felt their genuine love and support.

The two hours spent at home before I go back to the hospital are spent making sure the kids are on task; doing laundry and updating my family via this blog on Victor's status.

I have felt comfort in the support and am able to function. It's when the house gets quiet and I am alone in my bed that the feelings and emotions sweep over me like a flood. Sometimes the despair and grief have been so bad that my heart aches. In that moment of complete grief I remember the promise of the Savior that my burdens and pain can be eased if I take his Yoke upon me. Turning to my Heavenly Father in my Savior's name has given me peace and when I look upon my husband I am grateful. I am grateful that he accepted the gospel and was baptized. I am grateful that he chose me to be his eternal companion and that the covenants we made in His Holy Temple make it possible for us to be together forever. I am grateful that he honours his priesthood. I am grateful that he is a good man.

I am grateful for your love and support.